Over My Head

You know when you are on your limit and you want to just fxxk off and just go away?

That’s what I’m experiencing now honestly. So yes this post is full rant of me for not able to understand this situation I’m in at all.

Let me start with context. I have nothing to do with them. I help purely because they are my friends. I didn’t have to at all by all means as it’s outside my job scope. And lastly, my greatest mistake was to think that they care.

It starts off with, “okay I don’t mind helping you order a PC and set it up for your team”. Went from the basic, ordered the best that we can afford so that they can work efficiently, do all the fxxcking paperwork and did all the follow up and I’m pretty sure I’m not that free to do that. Even had to come early few times just so I can help them. And what I understand and how they explained, they don’t know this new program I’m going to put in as it’s more advanced and allow more efficient performance. What’s more important, it’s more up to date and for me, I’m a bit ashamed if I were in tech company using the old outdated program while the whole world is moving forward with more advanced technology.

So I took upon myself and set it up. The first PC was done and all I do is ask them to try and yes they could operate it but the comment was, “it was running but we are not sure how to tweak it up”. p.s. This PC is not fully set up yet but I let them use it because they need one urgently (kinda). So I was doing the setup for the second PC and I try to read up and learn the config and tweak and tune just to get scold by them for TWEAKING THE ORIGINAL DEFAULT SETTING (WHICH I CAN EASILY REVERT BACK) WHICH THEY DON’T KNOW. That’s my biggest mistake, to begin with, to expect that people would respect you when you respect them. To think and treat them as a friend and EXPECT them to treat you as one as well.

People can see other’s fault so easily to the point the end is everything. I don’t expect thanks but I do expect they let me do my shit and hand it over when it’s done. I guess this is the point where I don’t give a fxxk anymore and stop being kind. I love you but I don’t think that mean shit at all at this point. I guess the lesson learned for me. No more being the good guy to the person who is smart enough to tend themselves.

Another list added for my happy recipe:
Don’t do things you are good for free even if it’s for your “friend”